Del tha Funky Homosapien
by JP
[orig location: http://www.slugmag.com/article/1299/Del-tha-Funky-Homosapien.html]
Del Tha Funky Homosapien
05.23.08
The Paladium
Sinthesis, Bukue One (and some dude from New Jersey I didn’t catch)
Somewhere directly under a highway overpass next to a soup kitchen there sits a new venue you’d expect to find in a bit more metropolitan city. My first trip to The Paladium was not disappointing. It was a Latin disco last time I checked. Now it’s a live music venue with a great summer hip-hop line-up on the books. The occasion for my departure from my recent hermit-like existence was to catch my inaugural show from Del Tha Funky Homosapien (of Hieroglyphics, Gorillaz and Deltron renown.)
Fortunately, local openers Sinthesis and Berkeley’s Bukue One were not disappointments. Sinthesis MCs Phaust and Forest did a good job of melding some melodic/insightful flows with the backing of a live band. It’s always wicked to see people expanding hip hop beyond the limit of the traditional 1s and 2s with some strings and real skins getting banged on. If you’ve never seen such a combination, and you think you’re a hip hop fan, check these guys out when they’re at The Paladium with one of my favorite Quannum MCs, Pigeon John, on June 27th. Their song "Shoot Me," from Movement 4:6, was a standout with a catchy hook and some nice guitar that are still knocking around my head.
Nothing says its fucking time to strap on your skate than hearing a little Reggae infused rap. Luckily, Bukue One filled that little niche missing during these last cold-as-hell months. While the venue was filling some Knuckleheads looking cat was skating around throwing a few acrobatics down. I wondered if the guy might have some herbal supplementation infusing his antics. So I waited around to see what would happen to his ass, testosteroned-security wise. His ass happened to be Bukue One so nobody gave him one word for it. Bukue took to the stage with hyper energy and salivated on the crowd with some tight reggae-permeated lines about Bush/Cheney being murderers. I always like that shit so Bukue got a gold star; and his good humored stage presence earned him a few more.
I missed the third act, but Del did not disappoint. A-Plus from Souls of Mischief/Hieroglyphics was his hype man and both guys (backed by their DJ Zack, also Bukue’s DJ, for the record) blew it the fuck up. My right ear felt stuffed for two days after the show: they literally blew it out. Del did a doozy bringing his whole catalog to bear and linking his 17-year hip hop career with head nods and perfected flow. It was like watching what it was: a true professional at work. Finally, Del insisted that the crowd raise the peace sign, something he has always been a promoter of (unlike his cousin Ice Cube) and no one begrudged him our two fingers raised in solidarity. Del left the stage on that high note only to be brought back by rabid stage thumps and "D-E-L" chants rebounding off the corners of the venue. The crowd went bonkers as "Clint Eastwood," minus Damon Alba (a version that vastly improved on the original) brought Del back from the wings for his finale. I think there was a lot of hollering at the end but I was too busy wondering if I had permanently gone deaf in one ear to notice.
10.04.2008
Warped Tour '08: Binging and Purging at the Fairgrounds One Last Time
by JP [note: I took the photos attached to the piece and they're best view at the article's original site: http://www.slugmag.com/article/1395/Warped-Tour-08:-Binging-and-Purging-at-the-Fairgrounds-One-Last-Time.html]
Added August 14, 2008
The Van’s Warped Tour used to rank up there with epic summer events like the X96 Big Ass Show and mercury busting digits in my little brain. And surprisingly it still ranks that high with hordes of sunburnt teenagers.
The Van’s Warped Tour is like an Asian buffet with all sorts of food. So many kinds and different regions are represented that it can be nauseating, confusing and may give you a toxic dose of MSG. Your intrepid SLUG representative braved the great horde of the unwashed to figure out what the fuck was being served. I got full and had to leave the buffet a little early with a case of the Delhi belly. But not ‘til I had time to check in with a few bands and the man behind the magic, tour founder and producer, Kevin Lyman himself.
I wasn’t there to check out the merch, even though there was a shit-ton. I wasn’t there to be arrested for statutory, even though there were many opportunities. And I definitely wasn’t there to get the big C: SPF 45 motherfuckers! The goal was to gorge on every variety and style of music I could before the flux hit. I consumed a lot of varieties of grubbin: some British Clash impersonators (Beat Union), caught a little Colorado rap/electro in the form of 3OH!3, delved into the NY Hip-Hop/nerdcore of MC Chris and saw some Japanese ska girls (Oreskaband) do their best imitation of fellow tour members Reel Big Fish.
The kids these days are known for being out of shape, a little slow and not very bright. It may be because they consume musical shit––the majority of what was on display at the Utah State Fair Grounds. I went to the Warped Tour a lot until about 2001. And I can say that the industry and the style of music has changed a fair amount since then. It’s not just the fact that I grew up a little (very little). It’s the fact that overall the music has been so polished and packaged for ease of consumption that boundaries are getting grey. We probably couldn’t realistically see what the industry would become back in the 90s––before Clear Channel monopolies and the Bush-administration-run FCC. We thought it was bad in the 90s when we saw a deepening rift between the style of music that evolved from the 80s punk originators into the unfortunate pop-punk then emo/folk. Now the deepening of the genuine vs. the commercial is even wider.
Ten years ago you had to chew your McDonald’s, but now that shit slides down easy with a wash of Coke, same with what you hear on the radio (yes, I’m a hypocrite). I saw Vans on sale the other day at a Smith’s in the bargain bin. The brand used to only be available in skate shops. I promised myself I wouldn’t spend this whole piece ripping on the tour, and I won’t.
Ultimately, the distinction has to be made between what the kids want and what they are served. If tons of fun in her ill-advised tube top over there wants a fucking double cheezburger of Panic! at the Disco beef with a side of some sodium infested freedom (or disInformation act) fries let her fuckin eat it. And the peeps are doing it. Hell, I’d play the Warped Tour and eat out at MckyDees all the time if I could. It would be a hellofa ride. It’s not all wine and roses though. The bands were in a line an hour plus to get the same food all the other bands were eating and they were doing it in the plush digs of the old rodeo ground concession area with a thermostat at over 100. No couches. No AC. No free BJ area (I asked).
So was there music JP? Will you shut the fuck up already and get to it.
Early on I headed over to an area where a herd of rowdy fuckers were stroking out to some electro-pop/rap from some sketchy looking guys from Colorado. 3OH!3 were putting on a good enough show and reppin’ the Rockies hard enough that I decided to talk to the fuckers. I’ve heard them before and wasn’t too jazzed, but their live show changed my mind. Their style is a little Beastie Boys and a little M.I.A. These guys still confuse me. Are they faking it or just having a good fucking time? Pushups interspersed with what can only be described as white-boy dancing were some of the stage tricks these guys used to light up one of the smaller stages on the tour and they were feeling it. " The crowd in Salt Lake was intense. It was a really good show. One of our best shows," the cardio crazed MC Sean said. Unfortunately, he’s retired the perfect form pushup due to a possibly career ending injury: "I threw my shoulder out in New Orleans riding a mechanical bull so I can’t do pushups right now. I’m going to have to stick to jumping jacks for my cardio. But we’re fighting the obesity epidemic one show at a time." Thanks 3OH!3 for leading by example through your community service. I downloaded (legally) a grip of their songs and thankfully have had a good laugh ever since.
The response to 3OH!3 has been similar elsewhere according to MC Nathaniel. "It’s crazy. It’s our first national tour. Watching these kids in different cities go ape shit to our stuff is so surreal and really really fun." The group does have some good beats and most importantly for what they’re going for, an interesting sense of humor. Nate busted out one of his raps with a serious, "Get your hand off my cock," and then two seconds later, "Seriously. Get your hand off my cock." Poor front row groupies. She will never wash her hand again, but at least the crowd enjoyed it. But according to Nate, 3OH!3 does look good enough to eat. So you can’t blame the overzealous groupies. "We look good. We usually have a little glistening sweat making our skin look great in the sun. Seans has been doing perfect pushups. We make sure we look really professional and really good," Nate says. I’d have to leave that up to your discretion.
My partner in crime for the day, Ed of Tamerlane, (who was not amused the majority of the time and who I still "owe") and I caught some Every Time I Die as our "hardcore" category filler. Ed thought it was sub par. Being a hardcore aficionado, I think this was an almost passing grade. Fortunately Ed didn’t punch anybody, that I know of. I had some time to chat with the lead vocalist of the band before they went on and he was a surprisingly intelligent and genuine guy. It’s hard to hate a band just because they are the food equivalent of a ham fried rice with still frozen mixed veggies when their lead vocalist, Keith Buckley, is a pretty OK guy. He started changing my mind about whose fault the plethora of shit at the Warped Tour was. And made me realize that all the bands, barring the huge headliners, were really just short order cooks at the whim of their audience; deep frying egg rolls to go.
The guy admitted to having a rep for being a prickly interview, but Buckley claims, " I’ve never walked away from an interview. I have a pretty good sense of humor. But when someone asks: ‘So how’d you guys get started?’ eyes roll. That person hasn’t cared to look up something. You could look that up via Internet. It just seems a lot people say they’re interviewers because they want free passes to the Warped Tour," this shocked me or course, how could the careless freeloaders do this at the tour? ‘Not me’ I thought, ‘Not SLUG. Not this time.’ It’s a sick cycle, according to Buckley: "It’s a hassle then because everyone has to go through the burn of making the interview happen making sure everyone’s at the right place at the right time then they’re like ‘This is my first interview, it’s for my school paper.’ Really? So you got in free to the Warped Tour. It happens a lot. We are record holders of doing people’s first interviews ever. It’s a running joke." I had heard the band had a reputation of being dicks to these people, but Buckley opened up a little and got thoughtful. "I feel bad sometimes… if they’re really nervous. Sometimes I want to pour my heart out and start crying and make it the most in depth interview I’ve ever done and have it be in some really obscure middle school paper." I learned you can’t judge a faux hardcore singer on the Warped Tour by his cover (black v-neck, long hair, tight jeans and knuck tats).
If you like your Brit-rock light and refreshing then another group I caught, Beat Union, should satisfy. I think these guys are OK, in the sense that their hooks are damn catchy and their obvious roots from The Clash make anyone (not the diehards) but most fans of Joe Strummer and Co. able to understand their sound. But it tastes like the Coke machine sweetness nozzle is broken at the buffet when you sip on this group. And broken in the too much high fructose way, not the extra bubbles. The crowd wasn’t really into these guys, despite the band’s hyped performance, and a dismal constant of forty, or so, wandered in and out in a sort of overflow from the main-stages. I can’t resist a cattle metaphor here. The crowd looked like Hindu cows with more pretend angst. Beat Union’s bass player jumped off a stack so they got points for trying.
Taste points (or frivolity points) must go to the Oreskaband: comprised entirely of young girls from Oresaka, Japan with a penchant for… you guessed it––ska. These ladies are straight outta the countryside, no English language niceties here and were in it for the music, obviously. Or whoever put them up to it wanted it to appear so. The trombone player was very cute. Points for the ska band for being cute, ska and Japanese all at once, but they’re ska so subtract five. Sorry. If you like ska and are tired of the ol’ British and American varieties try some Japanese ska on for size. Same thing, but with more of a raw fish flavor.
In passing, I talked to some dude from Say Anything! as they were looking for one of their lost band members. I asked if he was in the groupie tent and random band member (I think the singer) said there wasn’t a groupie tent. Another tour myth busted. Say Anything! didn’t have a sense of humor and their music isn’t that good. JP: One. Say Anything!: Zero. I guess if there was a groupie tent the majority of bands on the tour would be sent to the pen for any interaction with 99% of their fans in attendance. Lesson learned.
Some young thing named Charlotte Summers, much hyped by the tour’s founder, was preparing to hit megastardom from the looks of the gaggle of photogs trying to get her pic. I thought the buzz was large enough she should have been on the main-stage. But she sucked in such a poppy way (even more poppy than Beat Union) that I only lasted one song. That’s saying something, especially for the Warped Tour. I have since seen her video on VH1 (I have a valid excuse, it plays straight music videos at 4 am when I’m at work and everything else on cable is busy promoting cutlery and breast toning exercise equipment) and her suckiness was verified upon seeing her extra-raccoon eyed "look" that they gussied her up with for prime-time video repeats. She was not a standout on the tour.
MC Chris was a bright spot, in a surreal way, for the day. A somewhat odd choice for the Warped Tour, this little fella is best known as the voice of MC PeePee Pants on Cartoon Network’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force. This guy has some pretty silly rhymes over some pretty silly beats, and is best known as a founder of the nerdcore movement, which involves some geeky shit like comics and other semi-nerdy stuff like white boy hip hop. An example of an MC Chris rhyme goes something like this, "I’ll take a Carnival Cruise/ Kathy Lee lets me rub my dick on her boobs." There’s something so undeniably poetic about that sentiment that it must be mentioned. I was supposed to talk to MC, but he blew me off because his 30 minute set combined with a 30 minute meet ‘n greet with his fans winded him enough that he needed to take a nap at 4:30, according to his roadie. Did I mention MC was a founder of nerdcore? In his defense I think it was MC’s meddlesome roadie cock-blocking my ass. Or MC could have been banging some of his hotter fans (I saw them, they do exist), in which case, I can’t blame the guy. I’d say "fuck off" to SLUG for some of the finer pleasures this valley has to offer. At an effort at full disclosure he texted me for a phone interview weeks later, but I was like soooooo beyond MC Chris at that point I was all like "Whatevers." Plus I was lazy.
My final interview of the day was a chat with Kevin Lyman, the demon word-slinger of renown as founder of The Taste of Chaos Tour, the new Mayhem Festival and the shenaninganery of the Warped debacle. Before you completely tune out Lyman as a purveyor of dumbed down music in every genre… he does deserve some props for his greening of the tour since 2002, creatively named, The Warped Eco Initiative. And they’re getting better at it. "It’s great to see the 20 kids out there with the recycling bags and t-shirts. My solar powered stage the Kevin Says Kia stage is amazing. The quality of production is topnotch. Bands are fighting to get on that stage and not fighting to get off of it. There’s always a need to do better though. The bio-diesel is coming in everyday, but there’s always a need to do better," Lyman says at a very fast pace. This comes from a humble middle-aged dude in shorts and a rumpled T. He didn’t look much like "The Man," although he talked a bit like it.
But the guy claims: "If you’re driven by money you’ll never make it. I make a nice living, I won’t deny that, but it can’t be your first objective when you wake up." And he just may be real about it. I got the sense that he was. From the viewpoint of someone that has personally pondered the idea of music promotion before Lyman seems pretty grounded and offers this: "The best advice is that you have to be willing to walk out into the parking lot, take a bag of 25,000 dollars and light it on fire. Because you’re going to have your up days and your down days." Apparently Lyman has been losing money lately due to the economy and rising prices in every sector and he knows it. But he has so many hands in different pots he will probably be just fine. Ultimately the number of national artists on the tour may reduce in size, but that is a good thing because Lyman wants to bring more local bands to the Warped Tour next year. Good news for local bands and good news for the scene in general. Unfortunately it is motivated by a cost/benefit analysis. Such is the biz.
And the ultimate reason Lyman is in the game is for, get this: the sunshine. "Bottom line the thing that resonates with me is strange. It has to do with sunrises and sunsets. How many people get to say they get to see 46 different sunrises and sunsets a year? In a lifetime people see the same sunrise. It may be awesome, but you forget what they look like. But we’ll be rolling out of here and I’ll be looking at the sunset here and tomorrow I’ll be looking at the sunrise in Denver. It’s pretty awesome." Strange for a multi-millionaire in bed with every corporation seeking the young teen demo to admit to it, but he continues with, "Today we were driving up here from Moab watching the sunrise and people that were riding with me were amazed. Those are the kinds of people I like to have around me. And I remember a kid running up to me saying ‘I got to see the Used’ in New Jersey and the mom was like ‘Yeah,’ and she probably did the same thing when she met Bob Dylan. It’s a sense of discovery for the kids, a sense of discovery for me." Really Mr. Lyman? I discovered something too. And it smelled like fantastic ‘dash of the local flavor’ public relations. And he did it well.
There was some other hooliganery I saw but nothing worth writing about. But I learned quite a bit this year: People will eat what makes them feel good, and the smiling gentleman behind the buffet can’t always be blamed for filling up the kids with what the kids want to eat. He even probably has good intentions, or at least will claim he does. Also, I really can’t be expected to stick around to see Angels and Airwaves and Say Anything!. Even I have my limits on what I choose to binge on. I had to throw up in the bushes on my way out on sight of the Angels and Airwaves shit-storm. Puking never felt so damn good.
Warped Tour SLUG edition
by JP [note: I took the photos attached to the piece and they're best view at the article's original site: http://www.slugmag.com/article/1395/Warped-Tour-08:-Binging-and-Purging-at-the-Fairgrounds-One-Last-Time.html]
Added August 14, 2008
The Van’s Warped Tour used to rank up there with epic summer events like the X96 Big Ass Show and mercury busting digits in my little brain. And surprisingly it still ranks that high with hordes of sunburnt teenagers.
The Van’s Warped Tour is like an Asian buffet with all sorts of food. So many kinds and different regions are represented that it can be nauseating, confusing and may give you a toxic dose of MSG. Your intrepid SLUG representative braved the great horde of the unwashed to figure out what the fuck was being served. I got full and had to leave the buffet a little early with a case of the Delhi belly. But not ‘til I had time to check in with a few bands and the man behind the magic, tour founder and producer, Kevin Lyman himself.
I wasn’t there to check out the merch, even though there was a shit-ton. I wasn’t there to be arrested for statutory, even though there were many opportunities. And I definitely wasn’t there to get the big C: SPF 45 motherfuckers! The goal was to gorge on every variety and style of music I could before the flux hit. I consumed a lot of varieties of grubbin: some British Clash impersonators (Beat Union), caught a little Colorado rap/electro in the form of 3OH!3, delved into the NY Hip-Hop/nerdcore of MC Chris and saw some Japanese ska girls (Oreskaband) do their best imitation of fellow tour members Reel Big Fish.
The kids these days are known for being out of shape, a little slow and not very bright. It may be because they consume musical shit––the majority of what was on display at the Utah State Fair Grounds. I went to the Warped Tour a lot until about 2001. And I can say that the industry and the style of music has changed a fair amount since then. It’s not just the fact that I grew up a little (very little). It’s the fact that overall the music has been so polished and packaged for ease of consumption that boundaries are getting grey. We probably couldn’t realistically see what the industry would become back in the 90s––before Clear Channel monopolies and the Bush-administration-run FCC. We thought it was bad in the 90s when we saw a deepening rift between the style of music that evolved from the 80s punk originators into the unfortunate pop-punk then emo/folk. Now the deepening of the genuine vs. the commercial is even wider.
Ten years ago you had to chew your McDonald’s, but now that shit slides down easy with a wash of Coke, same with what you hear on the radio (yes, I’m a hypocrite). I saw Vans on sale the other day at a Smith’s in the bargain bin. The brand used to only be available in skate shops. I promised myself I wouldn’t spend this whole piece ripping on the tour, and I won’t.
Ultimately, the distinction has to be made between what the kids want and what they are served. If tons of fun in her ill-advised tube top over there wants a fucking double cheezburger of Panic! at the Disco beef with a side of some sodium infested freedom (or disInformation act) fries let her fuckin eat it. And the peeps are doing it. Hell, I’d play the Warped Tour and eat out at MckyDees all the time if I could. It would be a hellofa ride. It’s not all wine and roses though. The bands were in a line an hour plus to get the same food all the other bands were eating and they were doing it in the plush digs of the old rodeo ground concession area with a thermostat at over 100. No couches. No AC. No free BJ area (I asked).
So was there music JP? Will you shut the fuck up already and get to it.
Early on I headed over to an area where a herd of rowdy fuckers were stroking out to some electro-pop/rap from some sketchy looking guys from Colorado. 3OH!3 were putting on a good enough show and reppin’ the Rockies hard enough that I decided to talk to the fuckers. I’ve heard them before and wasn’t too jazzed, but their live show changed my mind. Their style is a little Beastie Boys and a little M.I.A. These guys still confuse me. Are they faking it or just having a good fucking time? Pushups interspersed with what can only be described as white-boy dancing were some of the stage tricks these guys used to light up one of the smaller stages on the tour and they were feeling it. " The crowd in Salt Lake was intense. It was a really good show. One of our best shows," the cardio crazed MC Sean said. Unfortunately, he’s retired the perfect form pushup due to a possibly career ending injury: "I threw my shoulder out in New Orleans riding a mechanical bull so I can’t do pushups right now. I’m going to have to stick to jumping jacks for my cardio. But we’re fighting the obesity epidemic one show at a time." Thanks 3OH!3 for leading by example through your community service. I downloaded (legally) a grip of their songs and thankfully have had a good laugh ever since.
The response to 3OH!3 has been similar elsewhere according to MC Nathaniel. "It’s crazy. It’s our first national tour. Watching these kids in different cities go ape shit to our stuff is so surreal and really really fun." The group does have some good beats and most importantly for what they’re going for, an interesting sense of humor. Nate busted out one of his raps with a serious, "Get your hand off my cock," and then two seconds later, "Seriously. Get your hand off my cock." Poor front row groupies. She will never wash her hand again, but at least the crowd enjoyed it. But according to Nate, 3OH!3 does look good enough to eat. So you can’t blame the overzealous groupies. "We look good. We usually have a little glistening sweat making our skin look great in the sun. Seans has been doing perfect pushups. We make sure we look really professional and really good," Nate says. I’d have to leave that up to your discretion.
My partner in crime for the day, Ed of Tamerlane, (who was not amused the majority of the time and who I still "owe") and I caught some Every Time I Die as our "hardcore" category filler. Ed thought it was sub par. Being a hardcore aficionado, I think this was an almost passing grade. Fortunately Ed didn’t punch anybody, that I know of. I had some time to chat with the lead vocalist of the band before they went on and he was a surprisingly intelligent and genuine guy. It’s hard to hate a band just because they are the food equivalent of a ham fried rice with still frozen mixed veggies when their lead vocalist, Keith Buckley, is a pretty OK guy. He started changing my mind about whose fault the plethora of shit at the Warped Tour was. And made me realize that all the bands, barring the huge headliners, were really just short order cooks at the whim of their audience; deep frying egg rolls to go.
The guy admitted to having a rep for being a prickly interview, but Buckley claims, " I’ve never walked away from an interview. I have a pretty good sense of humor. But when someone asks: ‘So how’d you guys get started?’ eyes roll. That person hasn’t cared to look up something. You could look that up via Internet. It just seems a lot people say they’re interviewers because they want free passes to the Warped Tour," this shocked me or course, how could the careless freeloaders do this at the tour? ‘Not me’ I thought, ‘Not SLUG. Not this time.’ It’s a sick cycle, according to Buckley: "It’s a hassle then because everyone has to go through the burn of making the interview happen making sure everyone’s at the right place at the right time then they’re like ‘This is my first interview, it’s for my school paper.’ Really? So you got in free to the Warped Tour. It happens a lot. We are record holders of doing people’s first interviews ever. It’s a running joke." I had heard the band had a reputation of being dicks to these people, but Buckley opened up a little and got thoughtful. "I feel bad sometimes… if they’re really nervous. Sometimes I want to pour my heart out and start crying and make it the most in depth interview I’ve ever done and have it be in some really obscure middle school paper." I learned you can’t judge a faux hardcore singer on the Warped Tour by his cover (black v-neck, long hair, tight jeans and knuck tats).
If you like your Brit-rock light and refreshing then another group I caught, Beat Union, should satisfy. I think these guys are OK, in the sense that their hooks are damn catchy and their obvious roots from The Clash make anyone (not the diehards) but most fans of Joe Strummer and Co. able to understand their sound. But it tastes like the Coke machine sweetness nozzle is broken at the buffet when you sip on this group. And broken in the too much high fructose way, not the extra bubbles. The crowd wasn’t really into these guys, despite the band’s hyped performance, and a dismal constant of forty, or so, wandered in and out in a sort of overflow from the main-stages. I can’t resist a cattle metaphor here. The crowd looked like Hindu cows with more pretend angst. Beat Union’s bass player jumped off a stack so they got points for trying.
Taste points (or frivolity points) must go to the Oreskaband: comprised entirely of young girls from Oresaka, Japan with a penchant for… you guessed it––ska. These ladies are straight outta the countryside, no English language niceties here and were in it for the music, obviously. Or whoever put them up to it wanted it to appear so. The trombone player was very cute. Points for the ska band for being cute, ska and Japanese all at once, but they’re ska so subtract five. Sorry. If you like ska and are tired of the ol’ British and American varieties try some Japanese ska on for size. Same thing, but with more of a raw fish flavor.
In passing, I talked to some dude from Say Anything! as they were looking for one of their lost band members. I asked if he was in the groupie tent and random band member (I think the singer) said there wasn’t a groupie tent. Another tour myth busted. Say Anything! didn’t have a sense of humor and their music isn’t that good. JP: One. Say Anything!: Zero. I guess if there was a groupie tent the majority of bands on the tour would be sent to the pen for any interaction with 99% of their fans in attendance. Lesson learned.
Some young thing named Charlotte Summers, much hyped by the tour’s founder, was preparing to hit megastardom from the looks of the gaggle of photogs trying to get her pic. I thought the buzz was large enough she should have been on the main-stage. But she sucked in such a poppy way (even more poppy than Beat Union) that I only lasted one song. That’s saying something, especially for the Warped Tour. I have since seen her video on VH1 (I have a valid excuse, it plays straight music videos at 4 am when I’m at work and everything else on cable is busy promoting cutlery and breast toning exercise equipment) and her suckiness was verified upon seeing her extra-raccoon eyed "look" that they gussied her up with for prime-time video repeats. She was not a standout on the tour.
MC Chris was a bright spot, in a surreal way, for the day. A somewhat odd choice for the Warped Tour, this little fella is best known as the voice of MC PeePee Pants on Cartoon Network’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force. This guy has some pretty silly rhymes over some pretty silly beats, and is best known as a founder of the nerdcore movement, which involves some geeky shit like comics and other semi-nerdy stuff like white boy hip hop. An example of an MC Chris rhyme goes something like this, "I’ll take a Carnival Cruise/ Kathy Lee lets me rub my dick on her boobs." There’s something so undeniably poetic about that sentiment that it must be mentioned. I was supposed to talk to MC, but he blew me off because his 30 minute set combined with a 30 minute meet ‘n greet with his fans winded him enough that he needed to take a nap at 4:30, according to his roadie. Did I mention MC was a founder of nerdcore? In his defense I think it was MC’s meddlesome roadie cock-blocking my ass. Or MC could have been banging some of his hotter fans (I saw them, they do exist), in which case, I can’t blame the guy. I’d say "fuck off" to SLUG for some of the finer pleasures this valley has to offer. At an effort at full disclosure he texted me for a phone interview weeks later, but I was like soooooo beyond MC Chris at that point I was all like "Whatevers." Plus I was lazy.
My final interview of the day was a chat with Kevin Lyman, the demon word-slinger of renown as founder of The Taste of Chaos Tour, the new Mayhem Festival and the shenaninganery of the Warped debacle. Before you completely tune out Lyman as a purveyor of dumbed down music in every genre… he does deserve some props for his greening of the tour since 2002, creatively named, The Warped Eco Initiative. And they’re getting better at it. "It’s great to see the 20 kids out there with the recycling bags and t-shirts. My solar powered stage the Kevin Says Kia stage is amazing. The quality of production is topnotch. Bands are fighting to get on that stage and not fighting to get off of it. There’s always a need to do better though. The bio-diesel is coming in everyday, but there’s always a need to do better," Lyman says at a very fast pace. This comes from a humble middle-aged dude in shorts and a rumpled T. He didn’t look much like "The Man," although he talked a bit like it.
But the guy claims: "If you’re driven by money you’ll never make it. I make a nice living, I won’t deny that, but it can’t be your first objective when you wake up." And he just may be real about it. I got the sense that he was. From the viewpoint of someone that has personally pondered the idea of music promotion before Lyman seems pretty grounded and offers this: "The best advice is that you have to be willing to walk out into the parking lot, take a bag of 25,000 dollars and light it on fire. Because you’re going to have your up days and your down days." Apparently Lyman has been losing money lately due to the economy and rising prices in every sector and he knows it. But he has so many hands in different pots he will probably be just fine. Ultimately the number of national artists on the tour may reduce in size, but that is a good thing because Lyman wants to bring more local bands to the Warped Tour next year. Good news for local bands and good news for the scene in general. Unfortunately it is motivated by a cost/benefit analysis. Such is the biz.
And the ultimate reason Lyman is in the game is for, get this: the sunshine. "Bottom line the thing that resonates with me is strange. It has to do with sunrises and sunsets. How many people get to say they get to see 46 different sunrises and sunsets a year? In a lifetime people see the same sunrise. It may be awesome, but you forget what they look like. But we’ll be rolling out of here and I’ll be looking at the sunset here and tomorrow I’ll be looking at the sunrise in Denver. It’s pretty awesome." Strange for a multi-millionaire in bed with every corporation seeking the young teen demo to admit to it, but he continues with, "Today we were driving up here from Moab watching the sunrise and people that were riding with me were amazed. Those are the kinds of people I like to have around me. And I remember a kid running up to me saying ‘I got to see the Used’ in New Jersey and the mom was like ‘Yeah,’ and she probably did the same thing when she met Bob Dylan. It’s a sense of discovery for the kids, a sense of discovery for me." Really Mr. Lyman? I discovered something too. And it smelled like fantastic ‘dash of the local flavor’ public relations. And he did it well.
There was some other hooliganery I saw but nothing worth writing about. But I learned quite a bit this year: People will eat what makes them feel good, and the smiling gentleman behind the buffet can’t always be blamed for filling up the kids with what the kids want to eat. He even probably has good intentions, or at least will claim he does. Also, I really can’t be expected to stick around to see Angels and Airwaves and Say Anything!. Even I have my limits on what I choose to binge on. I had to throw up in the bushes on my way out on sight of the Angels and Airwaves shit-storm. Puking never felt so damn good.
Warped Tour SLUG edition
Localized
Localized
by JP
October 2008 [View Issue at http://www.slugmag.com/article/1444/Localized.html]
Salt Lake has seldom been brought to tears or violence by a Localized showcase, but it may very well happen this time around. October comes with a hardon for this month’s Localized at Urban Lounge with some hip hop acts, for once. Local acts Knoitalls, The Bad Apples and Kinnetik will be on display showcasing their vocal wares. As usual it will be on the second Friday of the month (Oct. 10) and its only $5. It’s a steal of a deal considering the sheer quality of band for your buck. Peep "the skinny" below.
Knoitalls:
Johnny Utah – MC
Facts – MC
SLC’s Knoitalls could be one of the rare acts who actually live up to their name. These cats aren’t slouches and back up whatever shit they need to talk with facts. They’re not "gangsta" MCs with "gats." They’re just some genuine talent from Salt Lake carving a niche. Johnny Utah and Facts "not Fax, assholes," make up this team that have been collaborating for about five years. Both of them have been concocting cyphers since their early teens, sometimes when it wasn’t all that popular. "I was only one of five people in Utah County that rapped," says Facts. The mid-90s were not too friendly toward white kids trying to shake the Vanilla Ice image he says.
The duo first appreciated each other’s stripes performing within various groups in the early doubleots: Facts was in The Agents and Johnny in Broken Silence, until reciprocal mix-tape spots were suggested to each other. "He has really smooth skin and dresses real nice," Johnny says when asked how he got interested in Facts. All joking aside, Johnny says that they wrote a tight 16-bar song in less than two hours during their first collaboration and "the chemistry was really good." Thus, The Knoitalls began their combined quest for more insight to earn their moniker.
The Knoitalls are balls deep in the process of mastering their latest LP Kiss The Ring: continually fighting the stereotypes of "where from" and "what" makes an MC, and have no qualms about representing Utah to the fullest. Their new lyrics are peppered with Salt Lake references and both think the concept that "the city by the salty lake has no talent" is outmoded in the extreme. "From the national standpoint there’s still a stigma. You have to win their respect. I did an MTV MC battle and the hip hop guy judging was shocked I was from Utah. When he heard me rap, he was like ‘Oh, wow.’ Because hip hop is more judgmental than other kinds of music, it can be tough," Facts says.
Both MCs are still involved in other projects and struggle to juggle families, multiple jobs and the constant hunt for beats. Both dudes rep the ideal of the "hardworking MC" well. I tracked down Facts on a Friday cutting a track with Dusk from Mindstate and Brisk (Johnny’s favorite producer in SLC) at the boards. Facts had his work and personal phones constantly buzzing as he meticulously laid down verses and a hook for two songs. With no notes and no preparation for the second track, Brisk dug up a work-in-project for some spontaneous polishing. It was impressive.
Heads up: The new release from Knoitalls could be out next week. "More or less, the project’s done," Facts says, and they’re waiting for a solid date that will be sooner than later. Check their MySpace, www.myspace.com/theknoitalls. The LP may very well be available at the Localized show. And these MCs want the audience to bring high expectations to Urban. "We have a tendency to get a little rowdy on stage," Facts says. Sometimes, bar management has had to intercede. "If nothing else, you’re going to see two guys using every inch of the stage," he finishes.
"You won’t leave a Knoitalls show saying you weren’t entertained. If anything, you’re going to see two assholes running around stage, spilling beers, kicking speakers and jumping into crowds," Johnny guarantees.
The Bad Apples:
Sir Louis Wildamiss – MC
MC Mike Booth – MC/Producer
In a small space (close to 9th and 9th) in Salt Lake City sits Bad Apples headquarters and home of Penalty Box Records. The group consists of MC Sir Louis Wildamiss and producer/MC Mike Booth. When I joined up with Booth at his studio, he was deep in deliberation regarding track listing and order for the latest Bad Apples release, How Ya Like Dem Apples, Part 1. It’s an album rooted in traditional rap/hip hop staples evoking a good time and showcasing some very decent local talent, like Pace Won, Ben Grim, Verse1 and many others.
The Bad Apples represent more of a collective, something akin to San Francisco’s Quannum Records collaborative where MCs and DJs guest and star in similar hip hop projects. Penalty Box Records has that same West Coast collaborative energy rushing through all of its artists and projects. Penalty Box is the brainchild of Mike Booth, Las Vegas native and former graff writer, who punishes in the box with headknockin’ beats and handles promotions for the outfit.
"We did the first album and we didn’t think it was going to do anything, but it created a buzz here and elsewhere," Booth said. "And the next album is about capturing our live show." Songs that have been Bad Apple’s fan favorites, here and elsewhere are being slated for the LP as of this writing and are set for the Oct. 10. Localized, at the latest, for a release date. Don’t doubt the reach of the steadily growing Apples fanbase, either. Booth broadcasts a global weekly radio program from SLCC to garner support, is active on social networking sites and has this philosophy on the group’s upcoming tour: "All you need to hit is Salt Lake, Idaho, Colorado, Portland then Seattle, then you have your region." From there, he plans to conquer the rest of the US one juicy bite at a time.
Such an effort would have been impossible years ago, in terms of making a huge impact in other markets, but technology friendly Penalty Box loves the new music distribution model. "It gives everyone a chance. We’re playing on a level field," Mike says. Unfortunately and fortunately, "It’s still all money based. You have to have huge dollars to play with the big boys," Mike says. "But I can hit as many people as Universal, it just may take five years to do it."
If you’re not schooled on the local hip hop, you’re not alone. Here’s your primer. Mike can list, quite easily, a number of local artists he respects: "You’ve got The Knoitalls, Mindstate, Adverse, Brisk, Hades, all these cats that we’re working with. When you stack it up versus other places like Boston, pound for pound we’ve got better MCs here."
Mike is interested in other artists in Salt Lake, more than just those on his label, and showcases them in the radio program. He sometimes feels like playing some old Ice-T or some Too Short among the local acts he plays. They’d love to get some more listener support as well. "Hopefully we’ll get enough listeners to get some calls and generate an audience," says Hades, another Penalty Box artist who happened to be kicking it, Support local artists and get insight into some more obscure hip hop at http://weekendrapup.mypodcast.com. I scoped a recent podcast of the program and found Knoitalls’ MC Facts kicking it with Booth in the studio, Small Lake City at it again.
"We need enough people to recognize everywhere else that their is a lot of great talent here that seems untapped," Booth said. That would be where the local fan base would come in [that’s you]. See if the Penalty Box hype is real this October at Localized.
On Friday, October 10th the Bad Apples, Knoitalls and Kinnetick will all be at the Urban Lounge and so should you. Don’t forget the date on this one (its happened to the best of us, but this is not one to miss). Cover is $5 and please don’t bring your kid sister, this is a private club. See you in October.
by JP
October 2008 [View Issue at http://www.slugmag.com/article/1444/Localized.html]
Salt Lake has seldom been brought to tears or violence by a Localized showcase, but it may very well happen this time around. October comes with a hardon for this month’s Localized at Urban Lounge with some hip hop acts, for once. Local acts Knoitalls, The Bad Apples and Kinnetik will be on display showcasing their vocal wares. As usual it will be on the second Friday of the month (Oct. 10) and its only $5. It’s a steal of a deal considering the sheer quality of band for your buck. Peep "the skinny" below.
Knoitalls:
Johnny Utah – MC
Facts – MC
SLC’s Knoitalls could be one of the rare acts who actually live up to their name. These cats aren’t slouches and back up whatever shit they need to talk with facts. They’re not "gangsta" MCs with "gats." They’re just some genuine talent from Salt Lake carving a niche. Johnny Utah and Facts "not Fax, assholes," make up this team that have been collaborating for about five years. Both of them have been concocting cyphers since their early teens, sometimes when it wasn’t all that popular. "I was only one of five people in Utah County that rapped," says Facts. The mid-90s were not too friendly toward white kids trying to shake the Vanilla Ice image he says.
The duo first appreciated each other’s stripes performing within various groups in the early doubleots: Facts was in The Agents and Johnny in Broken Silence, until reciprocal mix-tape spots were suggested to each other. "He has really smooth skin and dresses real nice," Johnny says when asked how he got interested in Facts. All joking aside, Johnny says that they wrote a tight 16-bar song in less than two hours during their first collaboration and "the chemistry was really good." Thus, The Knoitalls began their combined quest for more insight to earn their moniker.
The Knoitalls are balls deep in the process of mastering their latest LP Kiss The Ring: continually fighting the stereotypes of "where from" and "what" makes an MC, and have no qualms about representing Utah to the fullest. Their new lyrics are peppered with Salt Lake references and both think the concept that "the city by the salty lake has no talent" is outmoded in the extreme. "From the national standpoint there’s still a stigma. You have to win their respect. I did an MTV MC battle and the hip hop guy judging was shocked I was from Utah. When he heard me rap, he was like ‘Oh, wow.’ Because hip hop is more judgmental than other kinds of music, it can be tough," Facts says.
Both MCs are still involved in other projects and struggle to juggle families, multiple jobs and the constant hunt for beats. Both dudes rep the ideal of the "hardworking MC" well. I tracked down Facts on a Friday cutting a track with Dusk from Mindstate and Brisk (Johnny’s favorite producer in SLC) at the boards. Facts had his work and personal phones constantly buzzing as he meticulously laid down verses and a hook for two songs. With no notes and no preparation for the second track, Brisk dug up a work-in-project for some spontaneous polishing. It was impressive.
Heads up: The new release from Knoitalls could be out next week. "More or less, the project’s done," Facts says, and they’re waiting for a solid date that will be sooner than later. Check their MySpace, www.myspace.com/theknoitalls. The LP may very well be available at the Localized show. And these MCs want the audience to bring high expectations to Urban. "We have a tendency to get a little rowdy on stage," Facts says. Sometimes, bar management has had to intercede. "If nothing else, you’re going to see two guys using every inch of the stage," he finishes.
"You won’t leave a Knoitalls show saying you weren’t entertained. If anything, you’re going to see two assholes running around stage, spilling beers, kicking speakers and jumping into crowds," Johnny guarantees.
The Bad Apples:
Sir Louis Wildamiss – MC
MC Mike Booth – MC/Producer
In a small space (close to 9th and 9th) in Salt Lake City sits Bad Apples headquarters and home of Penalty Box Records. The group consists of MC Sir Louis Wildamiss and producer/MC Mike Booth. When I joined up with Booth at his studio, he was deep in deliberation regarding track listing and order for the latest Bad Apples release, How Ya Like Dem Apples, Part 1. It’s an album rooted in traditional rap/hip hop staples evoking a good time and showcasing some very decent local talent, like Pace Won, Ben Grim, Verse1 and many others.
The Bad Apples represent more of a collective, something akin to San Francisco’s Quannum Records collaborative where MCs and DJs guest and star in similar hip hop projects. Penalty Box Records has that same West Coast collaborative energy rushing through all of its artists and projects. Penalty Box is the brainchild of Mike Booth, Las Vegas native and former graff writer, who punishes in the box with headknockin’ beats and handles promotions for the outfit.
"We did the first album and we didn’t think it was going to do anything, but it created a buzz here and elsewhere," Booth said. "And the next album is about capturing our live show." Songs that have been Bad Apple’s fan favorites, here and elsewhere are being slated for the LP as of this writing and are set for the Oct. 10. Localized, at the latest, for a release date. Don’t doubt the reach of the steadily growing Apples fanbase, either. Booth broadcasts a global weekly radio program from SLCC to garner support, is active on social networking sites and has this philosophy on the group’s upcoming tour: "All you need to hit is Salt Lake, Idaho, Colorado, Portland then Seattle, then you have your region." From there, he plans to conquer the rest of the US one juicy bite at a time.
Such an effort would have been impossible years ago, in terms of making a huge impact in other markets, but technology friendly Penalty Box loves the new music distribution model. "It gives everyone a chance. We’re playing on a level field," Mike says. Unfortunately and fortunately, "It’s still all money based. You have to have huge dollars to play with the big boys," Mike says. "But I can hit as many people as Universal, it just may take five years to do it."
If you’re not schooled on the local hip hop, you’re not alone. Here’s your primer. Mike can list, quite easily, a number of local artists he respects: "You’ve got The Knoitalls, Mindstate, Adverse, Brisk, Hades, all these cats that we’re working with. When you stack it up versus other places like Boston, pound for pound we’ve got better MCs here."
Mike is interested in other artists in Salt Lake, more than just those on his label, and showcases them in the radio program. He sometimes feels like playing some old Ice-T or some Too Short among the local acts he plays. They’d love to get some more listener support as well. "Hopefully we’ll get enough listeners to get some calls and generate an audience," says Hades, another Penalty Box artist who happened to be kicking it, Support local artists and get insight into some more obscure hip hop at http://weekendrapup.mypodcast.com. I scoped a recent podcast of the program and found Knoitalls’ MC Facts kicking it with Booth in the studio, Small Lake City at it again.
"We need enough people to recognize everywhere else that their is a lot of great talent here that seems untapped," Booth said. That would be where the local fan base would come in [that’s you]. See if the Penalty Box hype is real this October at Localized.
On Friday, October 10th the Bad Apples, Knoitalls and Kinnetick will all be at the Urban Lounge and so should you. Don’t forget the date on this one (its happened to the best of us, but this is not one to miss). Cover is $5 and please don’t bring your kid sister, this is a private club. See you in October.
जोम्बी वाल्क article
What a Splendid Morning for Zombie Stroll
by Jonathan Paxton
August 2008 [View Issue at http://www.slugmag.com/article.php?id=1378]
What Sunday street spectacle would creep out a Salt Lake City resident—more than any other? If you said "a gay pride parade" then you probably think that a gun rack is an essential car accessory and you’re voting for McCain. Speaking of pasty-faced people who speak incoherently and walk stiffly, want to know what would really freak me out? Hordes of zombies stumbling down the street. The 1st Annual SLC Zombie Walk is coming August 10th and it will devour you.
A list of qualities for a good zombie walk orchestrator might include childhood dreams of the dead walking and a genuine belief that the Zombacolypse will happen. Enter Sarvas, a man who needs only one name, like Prince or Madonna––a man haunted by visions of zombies since youth. "Zombies were and still are the most frightening thing on earth," Sarvas says. When he’s not busy surface piercing a tramp stamp on your girlfriend’s back or poking your lip with a shiny stud at the new Blue Boutique in Sugarhouse, Sarvas is training for a zombie war...or planning a zombie walk. The virus-like idea was born after he attended his first walk in Portland one year ago. He looked up other walks and said, "Fuck, if Boise, Idaho has one we better have one."
Sarvas had to answer some of the mysteries in his dreams and eventually turned to the most reliable source: zombie movies. "My favorite zombie movies of all time are the Return of the Living Dead I and II. Return of the Living Dead is a spoof of a zombie movie spoof. The zombies talk, and that’s where the ‘brains’ phrase came from." Sarvas found that "in the original zombie movies, zombies really didn’t ever eat brains, but those spoofs are where it originated."
Sarvas hopes that the walk will freak out a few Salt Lake City residents. "If anyone can do anything in Salt Lake to make people go ‘WTF?’ that’s all I really care about," Sarvas says, "I definitely want people to be like ‘AAAARGHH! Zombies!’" But the devilish Sarvas has a smirk lurking behind his smile and eventually he gives up his real motive. "If a bystander falls down and cries. If I can catch that person with my camera as they’re crying." Sarvas gets misty-eyed for a second and looks into the distance with longing and says, "That would be AWESOME." This is a man you can trust to deliver a quality zombie experience.
Zombies also need to know how to be convincing and intimidating. The web is the best resource for a zombie trying to claw its way out of your mortal body. Sarvas suggests the D.I. as an awesome place to find gear to assist in its emergence. Just rip and splatter your second hand duds. I was wondering what makes for a nice splatter batter and Sarvas, as usual, had the answer: "Two bottles of chocolate syrup and one bottle of strawberry [will give] a sweet blood." Avoid the eyes though. Apparently fake blood burns like a mother.
The guest list for this event is huge and stands welcoming. Anyone is invited to participate in the festivities as long as they are "respectful to everyone else and dress like a zombie," Sarvas says. The on-walk transformation is key for a realistic zombie walk. Plan to meet up with friends mid-walk and "turn" them by adding fake blood and raw meat accessories.
Walk participants should meet at 10 a.m. at a specific spot TBA. By 10:30, the walk will commence. Sarvas is hesitant to release to many details out of fear that authorities might get involved. "Anywhere there’s fun… cops will be. Maps won’t come out until a week before," Sarvas says. For more information about the walk route and the meeting place email slczombiewalk@gmail.com or add them on myspace (www.myspace.com/zombiesinslc).
In preparation for the event Sarvas suggests watching zombie movies and drinking alcoholic or highly caffeinated beverages for 72 hours straight. "Me? Oh, I won’t drink water all weekend long and I’ll get cramps," he says. To demonstrate, Sarvas channels his inner zombie for 5 seconds and begins to growl.
He definitely knows his material. And he’s willing to sacrifice his body. Can you handle it? Do you think you have what it takes to be the walking dead? Know this: if you don’t have raw meat hanging out of your pants and you’re not smothered in fruity sauce, well, you just aren’t zombie material and you can go be lame somewhere else August 10th. BRAINSSSS!
by Jonathan Paxton
August 2008 [View Issue at http://www.slugmag.com/article.php?id=1378]
What Sunday street spectacle would creep out a Salt Lake City resident—more than any other? If you said "a gay pride parade" then you probably think that a gun rack is an essential car accessory and you’re voting for McCain. Speaking of pasty-faced people who speak incoherently and walk stiffly, want to know what would really freak me out? Hordes of zombies stumbling down the street. The 1st Annual SLC Zombie Walk is coming August 10th and it will devour you.
A list of qualities for a good zombie walk orchestrator might include childhood dreams of the dead walking and a genuine belief that the Zombacolypse will happen. Enter Sarvas, a man who needs only one name, like Prince or Madonna––a man haunted by visions of zombies since youth. "Zombies were and still are the most frightening thing on earth," Sarvas says. When he’s not busy surface piercing a tramp stamp on your girlfriend’s back or poking your lip with a shiny stud at the new Blue Boutique in Sugarhouse, Sarvas is training for a zombie war...or planning a zombie walk. The virus-like idea was born after he attended his first walk in Portland one year ago. He looked up other walks and said, "Fuck, if Boise, Idaho has one we better have one."
Sarvas had to answer some of the mysteries in his dreams and eventually turned to the most reliable source: zombie movies. "My favorite zombie movies of all time are the Return of the Living Dead I and II. Return of the Living Dead is a spoof of a zombie movie spoof. The zombies talk, and that’s where the ‘brains’ phrase came from." Sarvas found that "in the original zombie movies, zombies really didn’t ever eat brains, but those spoofs are where it originated."
Sarvas hopes that the walk will freak out a few Salt Lake City residents. "If anyone can do anything in Salt Lake to make people go ‘WTF?’ that’s all I really care about," Sarvas says, "I definitely want people to be like ‘AAAARGHH! Zombies!’" But the devilish Sarvas has a smirk lurking behind his smile and eventually he gives up his real motive. "If a bystander falls down and cries. If I can catch that person with my camera as they’re crying." Sarvas gets misty-eyed for a second and looks into the distance with longing and says, "That would be AWESOME." This is a man you can trust to deliver a quality zombie experience.
Zombies also need to know how to be convincing and intimidating. The web is the best resource for a zombie trying to claw its way out of your mortal body. Sarvas suggests the D.I. as an awesome place to find gear to assist in its emergence. Just rip and splatter your second hand duds. I was wondering what makes for a nice splatter batter and Sarvas, as usual, had the answer: "Two bottles of chocolate syrup and one bottle of strawberry [will give] a sweet blood." Avoid the eyes though. Apparently fake blood burns like a mother.
The guest list for this event is huge and stands welcoming. Anyone is invited to participate in the festivities as long as they are "respectful to everyone else and dress like a zombie," Sarvas says. The on-walk transformation is key for a realistic zombie walk. Plan to meet up with friends mid-walk and "turn" them by adding fake blood and raw meat accessories.
Walk participants should meet at 10 a.m. at a specific spot TBA. By 10:30, the walk will commence. Sarvas is hesitant to release to many details out of fear that authorities might get involved. "Anywhere there’s fun… cops will be. Maps won’t come out until a week before," Sarvas says. For more information about the walk route and the meeting place email slczombiewalk@gmail.com or add them on myspace (www.myspace.com/zombiesinslc).
In preparation for the event Sarvas suggests watching zombie movies and drinking alcoholic or highly caffeinated beverages for 72 hours straight. "Me? Oh, I won’t drink water all weekend long and I’ll get cramps," he says. To demonstrate, Sarvas channels his inner zombie for 5 seconds and begins to growl.
He definitely knows his material. And he’s willing to sacrifice his body. Can you handle it? Do you think you have what it takes to be the walking dead? Know this: if you don’t have raw meat hanging out of your pants and you’re not smothered in fruity sauce, well, you just aren’t zombie material and you can go be lame somewhere else August 10th. BRAINSSSS!
SLUG
I write for a local music/culture/snowskate magazine availalbe online and in print on the first of every month. I've decided to repost the articles from the site onto this blog bad formatting and all.
I will begin to post them in no particular order....now.
-jp
I will begin to post them in no particular order....now.
-jp
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